Holidays

'twas the night before Christmas, and all through Kedyana, not a creature was sturring, not even Lwaxana. As Kurn sat down for a good meal of roast Targ, and this story begins 2 days earlier with an

"AAARRRGGGHHH!" the Captian Said as the crew was leaving the Reunion.
"What happened?" ask Kes, who as standing next to him at the time.
"I Dropped my suitcase on My foot!" said the Captain. Everyone around him tried to conseal their laughter.
"So..." said Lwaxy, trying despritly to change the subject, "Where's everyone going for our little Holiday? I hope you're all not like me and staying here..."
"Well, actually..." said Kurn
"We were... Um..." said Telek
"I think we're all staying here." said Dara.
"Well, that's a shame. We ought to have our own little party, right here."
"Here in the Docking Bay?" said Kurn
"No! Here at Kedyana." said the Geezer.
"That's a Great Idea!" said The Captain, "I just hope some uninvited guested don't show up «hint»«hint»".

"Lazarus!" Wesly Crusher called out, "We're having a holiday party on Kedanya, I don't suppose that you have some appropriate beverages in the Cargo Bay, do you?"
"Well sir, I am sure I can scavenge some Saurian Brandy or Romulan Ale, I'll meet you in the Lounge."
Lazarus turned back towards the nearest turbo lift as the rest of the crew filed out of the airlock. Laz began to compose to compose a song that was sure to tickle the ears of any who listened it's last verse went:

"On the 12^th day of christmas, Decipher gave to me:
12 Singing Amaries,
11 Lying Dukats
10 shooting Runabouts
9 Warp Core Breaches
8 Starter Deck twos
7 Mission specialists
6 Plans of the Tal Shiar
5 TER-OCK NORS!!!
4 Phaser Rifles
3 Borg Queens
2 Kedanya stations, and
The Dominion all wrapped in a case!!!!"

Unfortunately, Laz thought, no one was around here to listen to it, well, maybe at the party. Even more unfortuneatley, he was overheard, and this eavesdropper bagan to follow the unsuspecting Lazarus.

When Geezer Kes heard something about the Dominion, she immediately stopped and listened. As soon as she heard it, her brain gears began to turn.

"Laz is a shapeshifter!"

Geezer Kes, never able to keep a secret very well, told everyone she saw that Laz was a changeling.

The next day, Laz noticed people staring at him, and it seemed like they were trying to stay as far away as possible from him...

Lwaxy was only in her quarters to change her dress, since Mr. Meow, the cat of the ship, had decided to jump on her while his paws still covered with chocolate. Not a big deal, gave her a chance to show another dress around...

When she entered her changing room, she frowned. What was all that alcohol doing here? She didn't order anything. Oh, well... for some reason, the reunion was short of anything alcoholic. The private and official reseves of most people were gone (Lwaxana never had any, she used to drink in the lounge or finish her own bottles fast) Now, Lwaxana begin to have a certain suspicion. Some one on board must be some kind of anti-holic (she had no idea how it was called, Betazoids didn't tend to such a sick behaviour) and must be trying to hide all that good stuff. And, logically, he did it here for a while. No one would have thought Lawaxana Troi, Daughter of the 5th house etc etc would leave a good party just at the beginning.

Now, there were different things she could do. She could call security (who were just arranging a firework made out of disruptors and phasers). She could call Ship Services to transport this way ( but it would only get stolen again, she was sure). She could also ask the other ambassadors (who were busy inviting station personnel for the coming flight around Kedanya). Or, she could, after all, ask Engineering or Medical to send someone (Who were preparing Kedanya lounge for the party after the party).

She decided not to do anything like that. She turned to the computer. "Computer, from now on, no one is supposed to enter this room but me. Also, I want a forcefield around the alcohol that no one can disengage but me. And then, I also need an interference pattern for any attempt to transport something out of this room... and then... oh well, then Ineed to change. Authorisation Ambassador Lwaxana Troi, Daughter of the 5th House..."
Meanwhile...
Hidden inside the people trying to get a party going (most of them still decorating, except some decorative ambassadors, was a person watching the tables with disgust. This being had tried everything to prevent any alcohol from being served. Still... a few bottles were there, and something needed to be done about this!

jeffpicard had just returned from his breif trips to Qo'noS and Rekrap, when he noticed all his bloodwine was missing. "Someone shall PAY for this INSULT", he screamed, "it's a good thing for whoever did this that I brought some back with me, now I only have to kill whoever did this twice"

So he hid his new cases of bloodwine (and some Romulan Ale that no one else was to know about) aboard his private shuttle, thinking that would keep it safe. Then headed towards the lounge to see if anything new was afoot.

Daramere had just finished a routine security sweep of the station when his attention was attracted to an unusually high concentration of C2H5OH in Shuttlebay 2. Being a quick thinker and no taker of unnecessary risks, he immediately dispatched a Security team composed of the strongest Klingons and Romulans he could find to investigate.

---Two hours later---

On the bridge the intercom beeped. "Enshihhhn L'Chhhol to britchhh... Consshentrasshion (hic) othth unushshshual (hup) subshtansh thound and (burp) elirina- errr immigra- errr emilani- errr (slap) deshhtroyed (thump).

"Oh, excuse me, please." Jodmos got up and did his best to clean his uniform. Neral besides him did the same, both throwing irritated looks at the man in fron of them, who seemed to have a slightly malfuntioning sense of balance.
"Excuse me, please," Tomek repeated. I am coming from the... from the party. I... I only wanted..."
"Are you ok?" Jodmos frowned. "Should we call the doc?"
"Excuse me, please..."
"Yes, yes, you said that." Neral lifted an eyebrow and grabbed the other Romulan by the hands. "Let's get him to sick bay. Maybe he took something wrong."
Maneuvering Tomek 2 decks down to sick bay wasn't an easy task, especially since his "excuse me"s really got on their nerves. Arriving there, they found the whole medical staff standing around a certain barber who obviously had similar problems as the Romulan.
"I... I need to cut the Captain's hair," Mot muttered. "I need to..."
"What is going on on this ship?" Jodmos ignored the bartender starting running in circles. "Doctor Bashir, could you tell me what is going on?"
"Bashir turned around. "Ah, another one." He picked the tricorder from a bed and scanned Tomek. "Same symptoms. The victims all appear to be drunk, although they only took very view alcohol."
"Victims?" Neral was alerted. "You mean, there are other ones?"
"Yup!" Bashir, obviously not very concerned, pointed to the back of the room with his thumb. Neral saw cloed curtains around beds, and it was obvious that at least one of those beds was occupied, since the voice of Geezer Kes was heard, singing. Neral wasn't able to identify the song, only her voice.
"Has this something to do with alcohol at all?" Jodmos realized that Mot was starting to cut Tomek's hair. Jenice Manheim, who was finishing an overview just looked at them from time to time and didn't bother to interfere.
"Yup!" This time the doc pointed out to another room. "Dr. Bob and I believe it is an allergic reaction to alcohol, increasing the effects by about 100 times...created by a substance known to be used by Ferengi to increase the demand for synthehol." He shrugged his shoulders. "It will go away in a few hours, hopefully."
"Hopefully?" Jod hoped for a chance to rescue the party, but then remembered that they were pretty much out of alcohol supplies after all.
"Yup. There's no absolute guarantee. My suggestion is: Find the guy who stole the alcohol, and you may have the one responsible for this as well."
"Nice idea." Neral threw one last look to the barber, who was by now cutting the hair of Geezer and Spock (why did the Vulcan drink alcohol anyways?). By know he recognized the song Geezer was singing. "Come back little tribble," a song that would normally drive all Klingons mad. Good Jodmos didn't listen.
while the two of them were walking out (not without the good advice to stay away from all alcohol until this mistery was solved, they heard Spock starting to recite an old Vulcan poem backwards. It was really time to do something....

Lwaxana sat down on Maelwys, immediately realizing her mistake. "Oops," she said, getting out of the chair that had the same color thn the uniform of the 2nd officer. "I was so much in thought, I didn't see you."
"That is allright," Mael grumbled, not very convincing. "It has already happened to RoToRa, Nog, Tomek, Bot and Kurn." He sighed. "It seems I better chose another chair or change my clothes."
"This is a party after all." Lwaxana smiled. "Put on something more comfortable."
"Good idea, ambassador. I will do that." Mael got up, not very sure on his legs. "I don't know what is wrong with me. I only took a glass of beer... not that we have much anyways."
"Oh, that alcohol stuff is something I would like to talk to you about...."
"Sorry, Mrs. Troi, but I don't feel dell, eh, well... please conduct, err, contact the Captain..." With those words Maelwys walked out. When he had gone, Lwaxana realized he had forgotten his duct tape on the chair.
"This is strange," she thought. "Maybe I should notify sick bay..."
But then, she decided to go for the Captain first. The alcohol criminal needed to be caught!

Maelwys thought about what to put on while he took the lift down to his quarters. He didn't want to wear any of his old stuff anymore. It was all so boring. Lwaxana, on the other hand, always had so interesting clothes. And so many of them...
While thinking of that, he got an idea. He was sure the ambassador wouldn't mind if he would lend some clothes from her. "Computer...VIP quarters," he commanded. Everyone would look at him when he would be back at the party...

*On the Bridge*

"That sounds like some party..." said RoToRa, maning the Captain's chair.
"Sure does..." said R'Mor.
"Maybe we should go check..." said Kurn
And so the 3 headed tward the party, leaving no one on the Bridge.

*In Sickbay*

"Where are all these Drunks coming from..." wondered Dr. Bashir to himself. "6 or 7 a day is usual, but this many is unheard of!"

*In a Turbolift, en route to the Party*

"That doesn't sound right..." said R'Mor, as the Turbolift started making noises. Little by little, the Turbolift screached to a Hault between decks 14 and 15.

"What do we do now?" asked R'Mor.
"20 questions?" asked Kurn.
"Sure." said RoToRa.

*In Sickbay*

By now, everyone who had had any alchohol was now in sickbay. "What's the final count on those not here?" asked Neral to Dr. Bashir.
"Well, Right now, Kurn, Telek, and RoToRa. Even the Holgrams apear Drunk!". "Well, I guess we should find Those 3." said Neral.

*In the Turbolift*

"Nope. 12 questions left." said Kurn.

*Outside the Ship*

This is usually when something bad hapens outside of the ship, so.... Sudenly, Everything was exactly as it was when everything was O.K.

As everything outside the ship remained normal the inside was still haywire with the entire crew drunk and the doctors in sickbay weren't helping the cause that much.

*Sickbay*
Doc are you sure you have to wait and can't help them recover faster?"asked one of the few people in sickbay who wasn't drunk ,somebody Bashier couldn't identify.
"Yes I am sure. I think. I never was a good doctor."

*In the turbolift*
"Hmmm. Is it sentient?" RoToRa asked.
"Nope. That's 19 questions you have one more." Kurn Knur, Knru or however it's spelled now :) said.

*On the bridge*
Nobody was on the bridge as they were all in sickbay or a tirbolift. So when the ships' power output dropped by twenty percent nobody noticed.

Mael tried since 20 min to open the door of Lwaxy's quarters. Needless to say it didn't work, since everything was secure.
After a while, he remembered something. "Uh..err... Im...I'm... I am Maelwys, authorization..."
He stopped, then he tried again. This time, he was able to get the words out, and the computer accepted his authorization.
"Allll righhht..." he muttered. "Now let's see what nice clothes there are in this... what's that?" Disbelieving, he stared at the masses of alcohol. "Lwaxana stole it...? I'll take her best clothes for that..."

Suddenly the ship rocked.
"What The..." But Maelwys didn't have time to finish expressing his atonishment.

For no apparent reason, the ships's artificial gravity went haywire, and pulled everyone to the ship's ceiling.

There was a resounding "THUD!" throughout the Reunion, and only a few seconds later, everyone started to vomit.

Then, following this natural course of events, everyone on the ship, even the holograms, let out an "EWWW!" to end all EWWW's.

The automatic suction system kicked in, and after a few seconds the interior of the ship was grey again, and everyone seemed to have less alcohol in their systems.

"What Happened?!" The now-competant captain sounded from the ceiling of the infirmary.

"Be Quiet! I Have such a bad headache..." Everyone in the infirmary yelled back at him.

After a few hours, when everyone's hangovers had subsided, things started looking up. Mael hit his head pretty hard on the ceiling of Lwaxy's quarters, and only now regained consciousness...

*[Turbolift 1]*

"Okay, RoToRa, Assemble the rest of the crew, and make sure they're at their assigned posts. Kurn, make sure there aren't any crew memebers drunken or ill, we want the Reunion in perfect running order as soon as possible. What are you standing there for, Go! Go! Go!"
"Uh, sir, we're in a turbolift." The captain's first officer replied.
"Oh, well, okay, I meant when we get out of the turbolift, go. Clear?"
"Sir," They both replied with a nod.

*[Lwaxana's Quarters]*

"Ugh. What happened?" Mael said as he brought himself to his feet. "I thought I remembered something being in this room..."
He Looked around the quarters in a more thourough manner.
"Wait, no! I Didn't..." A Blast of energy silenced the unwanted noise.

*[The Infirmary]*

"Okay, everything seems to be fine, I'll get goin..."
"Kurn, not so fast," Bashir abruptly replied.
"What do you want?"
"Kurn, I need you to check out Lwaxana's Quarters. Lwaxy said that Maelwys left to go there a few minutes before the gravity malfunctioned."
"Okay, fine, on my way." Kurn replied curtly.

*[The Bridge]*

"Sir, we have an unauthorized energy discharge in Lwaxana's Quarters."
"Thank you, Mr. Tom Riker. Daramere, send a security team down to have a look."

"Maybe it's my ESP acting up again, but I feel something not right on the Reunion..." The captain trailed off.

"Bridge to Geezer"
"Kes Here. Yes Captain?"
"You'd better come to the bridge, we may need some help later on."
"On my way."

*[Hallway Near Lwaxy's Quarters]*

"Who's there? Qu'Gih!"
"Have a nice day. MwaHaHa."

*[Infirmary/Bridge]*

"Captain, has Kurn reported back to the bridge?"
"No, Doctor, he hasn't..."
"I sent him to check on Lwaxana's quarters, and, well, I thought he just went to the bridge after going there."
"Computer, Locate Kurn, son of Mogh."
A pause.
"Unauthorized request. Please enter access code."
"What?!"
The captain entered his access code into the panel.
"Invalid access code."
"Dr. R'mor, anytihng wrong with the computer?"
"No, sir, everything is fuctioning properly."
"R'Mor, well, thee has to be Something wrong, go find out!"
"Yes, sir."

*[Entrance To Lwaxana's Quarters]*

"Why won't my authorization code work?" Daramere grumbled.
A tap on his shoulder.
"Lore? What are you doing here?"
An uppercut to his jaw sent him to the floor, unconscious. He knocked the team's weapons to the other side of the hallway, and in seconds had disbled them all.
"All too easy."

*[The Bridge]*

Dr. R'Mor entered the bridge.
"Captain, I believe I have found something."
"What?"
"Sir, there was an unusual occurance around the time of the artificial gravity's malfunction. I believe there was a micro-rip in the fabric of Space/Time. Sir, I believe someone or something has entered our universe from a parallel one."
"Lore," Geezer Kes said, looking down at the floor, "it has to be him."
"You mean our cook?" The captain replied in confusion.
"No, captain, a Lore from a mirror universe. He's taken over over there, and now he's here to rule our universe; or rather, obliterate all organic life."
"By Kedanya!" Was all the captain could say. "We've got to stop him!"
"Captain, it may already be too late."

"BTW, Geezer... um... How's you know that?" asked The Captain.
"No Time for that now! We go!" yelled the Geezer. The Captain headed for the turbo lift, and walked right into the door. "What the blazes?" asked the Captain. "Computer, open turbo lift door."
"Authorazation required."
"ARRRRRRGGGGGHHH!" said the Captain.
"Invalid Authorazation."
"I Know that!" said the Captain.
"Invalid Authorazaton."
"ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!" said the Captain.
"Invalid Authorazation."
"I think we're stuck on the Bridge." said the Geezer.
"Invalid Authorazaion."
*sigh* said the Geezer.
"Invalud Authorazation."

*Near Lwaxana's Quarters*

EviLore had turned Lwaxana's quarters into a holding cell for Maelwys & Lwaxana, but restricting the door with his access code. Now, it was onto Ten Forward, from their he could access the rest of the Ship's systems (he knew that Puff, The Magic Bartender had an interphase of all the ships systems there.). As he headed tward 10 Forward, he saw his double.
"Lore." said Lore.
"Lore." said EviLore.
"I can't let you do this." said Lore.
"I can't let you stop me." said EviLore.
"Try me." said Lore.
"I will." said EviLore.
"Alright then." said Lore.

As they locked themselves in combat, Lore the chef remembered something, and proceeded, with lightning speed, to push his finger into EviLore's side.
"Huh? Where's Your off-switch?"
"I had it removed. Too much hassle," EviLore replied, "Although I see you still have yours."
Since Lore had one arm free, looking for the non-existant switch, EviLore grasped Lore's switch and hit it.
"Oh, I'm sorry, you have to be deactivated now. MwaHaHA."

EviLore held the unresponsive body of the Reunion's brave chef with one arm, carrying him back to Lwaxana's Quarters.
As he entered, he saw that some of the crew had regained consciousness.
"We'll never let you get away with this, you now." Kurn said, despite the severe pain surging through his body.
"Oh, but you already have, dear Klingon. You see, my plan is to..." EviLore stopped himself. "Please, I'm not so idiotic as to fall for your petty tricks."
"I really needed to stop doing that," EviLore thought out loud.

EviLore lay his counterpart on the floor, "accidentally" dropping him head-first, which made Lore's head pop off.
"Oops." EviLore grinned malevolently.
"I'd better be off now, there's still some crew I need to gather before you all die. You see, I don't like to leave business unfinished."
And with that he left Lwaxy's quarters, now his base of operations, almost set in completing his task of rounding up these lower life-forms for the slaughter.

Back on the bridge, Captain Crusher suddenly had an idea. "Where do you say that other Lore came from ?" he asked Geezer Kes again
Ignoring the inevitable "Invalid Authorization", Geezer Kes said "The Mirror Universe, why?"

Crusher turned to the turbolift and said again "Computer, open turbolift doors. eerhT appaK ihP ruoF eniN xiS ahplA rehsurC noitazirohtuA".

The doors slid open. "It seems the tables are turned", the Captain remarked to RoToRa as the turbolift carried its passengers to the nearest armory.

"Our best chance of stopping him is to strike fast and hard, giving him no chance of regrouping," said the captain, with fierce determination in his eyes.
"Sir, with all due respect, how can we stop someone that already has a significant amount of the crew disabled, seemingly taken captive-or killed- without any resistance? Not even 1 shot fired by our teams??" RoToRa said, with no facial expression of what he was feeling, although the words spoke for themselves.
"He may be fast, agile," said the captain, "but he's not impossible to stop."

The com system beeped.

"Oh, dear captain, you are mistaken."
"Lore?"
"You may call me EviLore, for however long it takes you to find me, since when you do, you shall suffer the fate of your petty 'security' team, and far worse. MwaHaHa."

Cpt. Crusher and RoToRa looked at each other, with some concern showing on both faces. RoToRa asked Wes "So, now what?"

Wes could only give one response. "Lock and Load."
"Sorry, I couldn't help myself, it was the perfect set-up."

They armed themselves, and then proceeded outside to the Security Office adjoining the Armory. There, RoToRa called up the surveilence footage of all the encounters with Lore so far, looking for some weaknesses. Something about Lore's encounter with... well, Lore, nagged at him, but he couldn't place it.

Suddenly, Lore (EviLore, of course) burst into the Security office. Wes was ready, and shot, but had his weapon knocked aside as it fired, forcing him to shoot uselessly into the wall. Wes saw that it was too late for an offense now, and started to phase out to protect himself, but was knocked unconscience first, as he was thrown against the wall.

RoToRa turned around to face the menace now standing before him. EviLore jumped and grappled with him, forcing RoToRa to use all his Borg-enhanced strength just to put up a decent struggle. During the struggle, RoToRa's hand brushed against something on EviLore's right side.

"Of course!" thought RoToRa, "that's what had been bugging me. Soong-Type androids are designed so that they don't work without an emergency shut-down switch. So EviLore must have been lying when he told Lore that his had been removed. It hadn't been removed at all, it just wasn't there. But that's because this Lore is from the Mirror-Universe, so his off-switch isn't on the left like Lore's..."
He screamed triumphantly, "...it's on the RIGHT!" as he hit the switch, and EviLore fell dead in his arms.

RoToRa sat back to take a breath, after his long struggle (both with EviLore, and with his thoughts). Well, it looked like EviLore was out of the way for now. The only problem was, most of the crew were still stuck, and who could say what computer traps EviLore had left behind....

As RoToRa recooperated from the little encounter with EviLore, the captain set out to get his crew set free.

RoToRa looked down at the deactivated body of EviLore, and noticed something on his back. It was very small, maybe a few microns in diameter, but he could see the indentation against his clothing.

"Now what could this be?" He grabbed a tricorder and started scanning it. "Quite interesting..."

"The Ninja Scot, you're with me," the captain ordered.
"Yessir."
"If we encounter any trouble, of course, you'll need to protect my life with your own."
"Um, yes...sir, but isn't that in my job description?"
"Just reminding you, Mr. Ninja Scot."
"Very well, sir."

RoToRa removed EviLore's shirt, revealing some sort of implant in his back. He used a micro-cutter to disconnect it from EviLore's body.
"That's odd. This looks like some sort of control mechanism."
"Indeed it is, RoToRa."
RoToRa almost jumped from his seat when EviLore started talking.
He continued.
"I was under the influence of my 'master,' the Lord of All Things, he calls himself."
"How were you able to reactivate?" RoToRa asked, partially confused by the unexpected events that had just taken place.
"The off-switch only temporarily deactivates me. If I do not give it 'permission' for the function to be used, it automatically restarts my systems after a few minutes. It's a built-in fail-safe."

"I see. What was your purpose in coming here?" RoToRa asked, constantly absorbing the information for future reference.
"The 'Lord of All Things' sent me here to take over the ship, to anylize your technology and report back to him. He is sending an invasion fleet of thousands of androids to take over this galaxy. Poor father, he didn't expect the opposition to be so worthy.

"Father?"
"Yes, the 'Lord of All Things' was once known as Dr. Noonian Soong. After events that are now all but unknown, he made thousands of androids and conquered the galaxy."
"But if he made all his androids to be 'evil,' why would they need implants to stay that way?"
"I was a malfunction, an 'imperfect' android created by him. A prototype positronic brain was used on me, and it simply didn't wish to be evil. Although, I was not scrapped because of this, since I was shown, however, to have great physical and mental abilites far beyond any other androids that he had created. I was then given this special assignment of scouting your galaxy, with a special implant designed to keep me in line."
"Fascinating."
"Indeed it is."
"But how do I know you're telling the truth?" RoToRa asked with coldness in his eyes, completely without expression.

"He's telling the truth. It's got to be the Tobin in me...or maybe the Torias? Or is it just me? Well, who knows."
"Uh, who are you?" RoToRa asked, with his eyes showing a hint of confusion.
"I'm Jad...I Mean Ezri Dax. Glad to meet you." She smiled.

"Mr. Ninja Scot, would you kindly pull open the door?"
"Sir, it's sealed shut. Romulan warbirds are notorious for having doors that are very difficult to open manually."
Suddenly the door opened from the other side, and two figures emerged.
"What took you so long?" Kurn asked, his uniform showing the mark of a high-powered energy blast at his chest.
"Glad to see you caught up with us." Daramere smiled, although his jaw was slightly out of place.
"Well, so much for the heroic rescue," the captain mumbled. "Let's get back to RoToRa, maybe he's found something out about our android friend...

RoToRa looked curiously at the young Trill before him. She was short, standing at 5'6", okay, maybe not short but comparatively short. "Ezri Dax?" He still couldn't process the idea.

Ezri nodded, "Yes, Ezri Dax. I just tran--" She was interrupted by the arrival of the Captain, The Ninja Scot and Kurn.

"RoToRa, have you--" the Captain began as he entered the room, but he saw that EviLore was reactivated, and he quickly saw Ezri, "What the --? Who are you?"

Ezri stood at attention and presented the Captain with a PADD, "Lieutenant Junior Grade Ezri Dax, assistant counselor. I was just transferred from the U.S.S. Deepwater Black."

The Captain took the PADD and read over the orders. They were genuine, even signed by the Deepwater Black's Executive Officer, a Commander Jeremy T. Low.

The Captain was confused, much like RoToRa, but he held his hand out, "Welcome to the Reunion, Ezri."

Ezri shook the Captain's hand, "Thank you sir. I can't wait to help...I mean, that's if you need help...But you would if I was transferred here...Of course I could've just been--"

RoToRa cleared his throat, "Ahem!" He turned to the Captain, "You wanted to ask me something, sir?"

The Captain nodded, "Indeed." He glared at EviLore, then returned his attention to RoToRa, "What have you found out about our android friend?"

RoToRa was about to reply, when he was interrupted by EviLore, "I believe I shall handle this part..."

EvilLore ,now understanding he had mostly lost, began to tall the Captain and company everything.
"As you prolbaly know already I am from a mirror-universe. In that universe a double of Noonien Soong has created a fleet of EvilAndroids. He has attempted to stop all the GoodAndroids but there is just a few left. I am torn between the world of evil and the world off good constantly in debate with my non-emotional subroutines. As one of the only androids with a non-emotion chip. All the other androids have a chip to employ evil into them and supply their emotions. Mine was disabled in battle. "Father" has conquered 3 different timelines and has decided to make an attempt to take over this one. In less than an hour a fleet of androids bent on destroying this entire timeline will coem through a portal about 2000 Kilometers from this ship."
"Why 2K?" Said a new voice from the background. It was the Ensign Captain Barclay.
"IIt was predetermined it has noting to do with your locaion. However our univerese is a backwards type and our ships are included in this rule. Thereforth we can fire at you from a cloaked position." He was interrupted by the Captain who said...
"AAAHHHRRRGGG!" This almost disabled EvilLore's programing and sent Barclay into shock. Kurn ,having some Medical training ,leant over Barclay as EvilLore continued,
"The invasion force will be here in 58 minutes Captain. And you are helpless." Then EvilLore slahed up and tried to knock to Captain away. He was sucessful,but a flurish of phaser fire hit him and knocked him over. Crusher went to the counsel and entered his authorization code to get the "Invalid autorization" message. He entered his code backwards and sent a message to R'Mor,
"The computer's backwards and I want it fixed."
"I know it's backwards sir but how do I fix it?" R'Mor replied.
"No everything's backward on it. Reverse it."
Crusher told the confused officer.
"Aye,sir." R'Mor replied.
******58minutes******
Everywhere on the Reunion the crew was getting ready for their incoming 'doom.' Barclay had regained consiusness and went to the computer. He looked at the today's menu and decided he would take a trip to the mess hall.
******50minutes*******
-on the bridge-
Crusher watches the viewscreen as 5 ships decloak about 2 Kilometers from their position. Then he saw they were Romulan ships hailing him. "On screen."
"Captain Cusher I am Commander Tomalek of the Romulan Allied Resources. We are from the universe that has been taken over by the EvilAndroids. We are here to help you with the incoming invasion. Out Raihs Lat agents have found out of this attack and the 100 ships we have are here to help. In their universe THEY are more powerful. But contrary to what they may have told you your rules apply in his universe.'
"Thank you for your help Commander, Crusher out." and the screen went blank.
*******48 minutes********
on the bridge a white flash appears and a voice says "Mon Capiton." Crusher rolls his eyes knowing who it is.
"Q" he says softly to himslef.

The flash is still visible as the voice says again. "Yes....and no my dear capitain. You see,I am an X, the mirror universe counterpart of your universes Q Continuum. We on the other side call it the the Inconsitantly Consistant Continuity Continuum."

The captain rubs his forehead "And like him you've come here to torture us?"

"Oh no no no dear captain, I want to know who your interior decorator is. The other side is so droll. browns, puces..it enough to make even an immortal being want to kick the bucket after vomiting in it."

Just then a spherical objet comes out of Mirror Q's flash that ripped a hole in space/time.

"WAAAAHHOOO!!!" The spheroid bounces around the bridge knocking a few noname ensigns off their seats

R'mor is watching it with some interest. "It appears to be a bouncing ball, ort maybe an android trick or perhaps..."

"Alright Dr. I get the point" The captain sighs.

"Wrongo on both counts Doc. I am Calhoun, a Changeling from the other side, and I.." The ball lands and shifts into a humanoid being "..want to join your crew."

Mirror Q rolls his eyes "Oh that is sooo original, I don't expect you are going to believe this impersonator are you captain?

"Oh and I suppose you want to.." Calhoun shifts into a Borg "..Become one with the Collective. Yes join today and with your membership kit you get..1 Free implant, a link to the hive mind and all expense paid trip to the planet of your choice to assimilate it."

"What the..." The Geezer Kes says

The changeling shifts back "Sorry, I sometimes get these impulses, your Doctors would prolly call it schzophrenia, I call to much free time."

"This is all fasinating Mr. Calhoun, but we have a crisis on our hands."

"Oh oh, let me help, please, can I help?" He is hopping up and down his feet morphed into a pogo stick

Lwaxxy who sometime came to the bridge is getitng a headache "Will you promise to settle down if we let you?"

"Yes Yes, anything"

"Ok, you're a crew member."

The captain turns and looks at her "Are you certain that a good diea? Besides, i'm the captain, shouldn't I get to decide?"

Lwaxxy looks at him "I have a headache from his bouncing now find some other way to make him stop, or let him on, ok?"

"Ok, ok, in light of recent developments beyond my control, you are a member of the Reunion."

"Yippee" Almost bounces but remembers the promise

A flash is seen as Mirror Q leaves in utter boredom but inadvertantly his watch falls off, it of course being form the mirror universe, measures anti-time and runs counter clockwise.

R'mor looks at his console "Sir, readings indicate that the fleet of EvilAndroid ships is due in about...now"

Another flash is seen outside the ship as the fleet appears 2K away.

"Sir" says whoever is at tactcal "We are being hailed"

"On screen" Say the captain.

An Android appears on the screen, he looks like the Captain only paler "Would you care to buy life insurence?"

Geezer Kes in a low whisper says "you mean they're Insurence salesman? How frightening" She shudders

The captain is obviously confused "Uh..no."

The Android Captain loosk disappointed "Too bad, if I sell 10 more policys I get a promotion and a free trip to Asir. Besides, you are gonna need it, we're gonna blast you to itty bitty pieces. Are you sure you won't reconsider?"
__________________________________________

Will the captain reconsider?
Will Calhoun ever find a job and stop getting impulses?
Will Mirror Q return to retrieve his watch?

Stay tuned for the answers to these and other questions next time on the Reuninon.

Same Always Changing BBS time. Same always changeing BBS.

The fleet of insurance salsmen/androids has just offered the Captain the offer to reconsider.
The Captain gets on the intercomm and asks if anyone wants to buy insurance policies. Almost immeadiatly 2 Ensigns come onto the bridge and buy 4 policies each for themselves and their families. The Captain continues to try to get the crew to buy a policy. The crew thinks it is just a waste of latnum or as the androids call it muntal.

***In the disposal unit***
A young ensign is cleaning toilets. It's "Captain" Barclay. Sense no one thought to install an intercomm in the disposal unit he cannot hear the Captain's cries for help. He finally finishes his cleaning.

***On the bridge***
The attack begins. One shot is fired and the ship becomes half-destroyed.

***Corridor***
Ensign Barclay [I can't get used to that] hears a call through the intercomm it's the Captain
"AAAHHHRRRGGG! Will someone buy an isurance policy!"
"Ensign Barclay to Captain! Can I buy two insurance policies?"
"Sure!" The Captain yells

***On the bridge***
"send them a message we want to buy two insurance policies." Crusher ordered.
"aye sir"

***Viewsceen***
"Thank you." Said the android Captain. "But we must still destroy you"

- A few minutes earlier -

The attack on the Reunion shook the ship violently, and the sudden movements were doing a number on poor Ezri's stomach. Before the joining, she would have shrugged off the movement caused by this violation of the inertial dampers, but ever since she was joined, this has not been the case. She held her hand against a wall for support as she moved her way down a corridor, heading for the Sickbay.

"This is not fair, I wasn't ready for this!" she cried out, as the ship was rocked again.

She continued down the corridor, trying to keep herself from falling and vomiting, but doing both at the same time hindered either one. If she tried to stop from falling, the moving would make her sick; if she tried to stop from vomiting, the moving would almost make her fall. It was a dilemma she could do without. She came to a corridor intersection, and walked into another person. The suddenness of the action caused her to fall down, and throw up.

"Bleah! Ack! Ack!" Ezri coughed. She regained her composure, and saw the mess, "Oh great! Now I have to clean this up!"

The other person looked at her, puzzled. "I never remember getting spacesick like that..." she said.

"Well, you're not me." Ezri replied. She looked up at the source of the voice, and paused for a moment at the sight, "...Umm...maybe you are?"

Ezri(AU) held her hand out, which Ezri took, and helped her to her feet. Ezri placed her hand on a wall console and activated some sort of internal cleanup protocol that quickly took care of the mess.

"Let's get you to Sickbay. You need some Gravol or something." Ezri(AU) replied.

Ezri nodded, "But who are you? I mean...I know you're me, but..."

Ezri(AU) grinned. "I'm you, but I'm from that /wonderful/ mirror universe with the EvilAndroids." she replied, sarcasm apparent in her voice.

"But in that universe, everything is backwards, so wouldn't you be EvilEzri?"

"It's true that a lot of things are backwards, but that is not one of them. You're thinking of that other mirror universe."

"Oh, right...So, you don't get spacesick? You probably have a lot more confidence too, and are a better counselor than I am."

"Perhaps, but that's just how the universe works." Ezri(AU) replied. They reached a turbolift, and Ezri(AU) pressed the call button.

The lift stopped on their floor, and the doors parted to reveal another person. He was rather tall, compared to the Ezris, and was Bajoran.

Ezri(AU) was startled, "Oh! Hello."

Ezri was startled, "Oh! Hello."

The Bajoran look curiously at the identical Trill officers before him. "Hello...umm...who are you?"

Ezri went first, "Lieutenant Junior Grade Ezri Dax, assistant counselor."

Ezri(AU), "Lieutenant Commander Ezri Dax, Counseling Officer, U.S.S. Deepwater Black."

Ezri looked at Ezri(AU), "I just transferred /from/ the Deepwater Black...And Lieutenant Commander?"

Ezri(AU) nodded, "Well, somethings have to be different..."

The Bajoran introduced himself, "I am Nyosi Macma, Bajoran Liaison. I wasn't informed of any sort of transfer..."

Ezri nodded, "I just transferred here about an hour or so ago."

Ezri(AU) stepped into the turbolift, helping Ezri into the lift car. "Pardon us, but I have to get Ezri to Sickbay."

Nyosi nodded, "I'll go with you, all this ship-shaking is making me ill." He made the level request, and the turbolift proceeded towards the destination.

*******************************************************
***On the bridge***
"send them a message we want to buy two insurance policies." Crusher ordered.
"aye sir"

***Viewsceen***
" Thank you." Said the android Captain. "But we must still destroy you"
*******************************************************

The Captain sat down in his chair for the purpose of getting out of it in a rushed manner. He needed a plan, and quickly.

"Captain!" it was RoToRa. "Those insurance policies we purchased have arrived." He off-loaded a stack of PADDs to the Captain.

The Captain looked down at the half-metre high stack of PADDs. Something caught his attention. He put them down on his chair, and took the top one off and began reading. Then, something clicked. He had a plan.

"Hail the lead ship." he ordered.

"Channel open."

The viewscreen changed, and the image of the supposed commander of the Android fleet appeared. "What can I do for you, Captain? Would you like to buy more insurance?"

The Captain shook his head, "Actually, I was wondering if you could explain something to me..."

The Android commander nodded, "Of course. What is it?"

"Well, I was reading over this policy, and noticed this fineprint here..."

"Fineprint?" the Android commander's eyes darted about, and he blinked several times. "Umm...what fineprint?"

The Captain lifted the PADD in front of his face, "This fineprint here...the barely-legible writing at the bottom of each subsection. I wondering if you could explain it to me..."

The Android commander wiped synthetic sweat from his forehead, "Umm...of course...Captain..."

***Now-on the bridge****
"that er.. fine print you call it means that these insurance policies are only valid in our universe and all damdges aquired in this universe are not covered by our system." The Android Captain explained nervously to Crusher.
"Oh." Crusher said. "Is there any way we can take care of this fine print? Or should we go to your universe and your Insurance Council and take this evidance. I have a friend that has told me quite a bit about your universe." Crusher picked up the PADD that "Captain" Barclay [AU] had given him that he had took a moment to read a second ago.

"oh. Ummm.... Captain. Well I'm sure I could have that taken care of. But your reality will still be destroyed." The Android Captain said.

"No it won't" Crusher explained. He tapped a few keys on the counsel next to him that was suppose to signal the Romulans to decloack. Nothing happened.
"AAAHHHRRRGGG!" Crusher yelled.

*Sickbay*
The two Ezris and the Bajoran were chatting. Well,the two Ezri's were chatting. The Bajorn was just listening. Bashier couls be seen getting some Asperin from the two Ezri's ongoing chatter about anything and everything.
Then a sound emmmited from a few decks above that could be haerd in Sickbay. It sounded a like
"TAAAAAAAAAARG!" The Ezris were puzzled but Bashier,after serving on this ship for a whil,knew what it was and he went back for more Asprin.

****Tomalek's ship- about five minutes earlier****
"He hasn't signaled yet!" Yelled Subcommander Yulvak across the bridge. Tomalek knew the Federation better. He would wait.
Then a shot was fired. He told the Subcommander to declaok and fo some reason he couldn't...

****Back on the bridge****
Crusher was furious. He was navigating the ship around shot after shot. His Navigator had been wonded and dragged to sickbay.

****Tomalek's ship****
He still couldn't decloak and he had recieved a signal. Now the Federations were dodging the shots. Tomalek decided to try something.
"Prepare a torpedo." He called"We're going to break the rules."

{Note since Tomalak is from the alternate universe his name is spelled with an E not an A]

***In The Shuttle Bay***
A shimmering object appered in the far corner of the shuttle bay. Amidsed the steam that arose after the object fully materialized walked out a figure in a shiny silver flight suit and sunglasses.
Walking with a confident stride the figure headed for the turbolift...
and sliped...
"God Damnit!" The figure yelled, got up and, holding his leg, limped into the turbolift.
Thats right, Ace Rimmer, the Multi-Diminsional Dashing Hero, is back.

When Geezer reached the bridge, she ignored the screen and the obviously upset bridge crew. "Captain, I have to tell you..."
"Uh, not now, Geezer. We are in a dangerous situation."
"Oh, I know captain. But I found out..."
"Not now, Geezer," the Captain repeated. "It can wait."
Shrugging shoulders, with a face that made clear that she didn't that Crusher quite serious, Gezzer tunred to RoToRa, who obviously was fighting with a Borg implant malfunction. "No 1, I have found the person..."
"Not, now, please... we have problems now... I have problems now..."
With an angry sigh, the counselor turned to Maelwys, but before she could open her mouth, Mael told her to keep quiet. "Just ignore them," Lwaxana said, obviously angry. "I have tried to tell them to find out who stole and stored the alcohol in my quarters. But no one seemed to care."
Geezer smiled brightly. "But that's what I have just found out! And he mixed those stuff in the leftovers that made all people so terribly drunk."
"You did? But, wow, that's wonderful! Who was it?"
Geezer lowered her voice, not wanting to share this information with anybody else anymore. "It was that Ferengi - Nog. He wanted his uncle to sell synthehol again...and you know what? He bought this effect-increasing stuff fom Ace Rimmer. He just got a new shipment...that stuf even made EvilLore drunk!"
"Oh..." Lwaxana got an idea. "Do we still have enough alcohol to make the crews of... lets say... all those ships out there drunk?"
"Most likely... with that drug Nog got... why you asking?"
"Imagine," Lwaxana smiled. "We can invite them all to our party... it is holiday season after all... I am sure they will accept!"
Geezer, getting the idea now, laughed silently when Lwaxana suddenly stepped in front of the screen, smiling at Tomalek. "My dear Captain, it is so unpleasant to talk about things like the destruction of realities while on different ships. Would you care to come over and have a drink while talking?"
"Ahh.. why not? The first good idea of today..." replied the android, while everyone but Geezer was staring at Lwaxana, believing she was finally out of her mind...

***On the bridge***
As the transmission ended Crusher immeasitly looked at Lwaxana.
"Are you out of your mind?" He asked.
"Well, she may be out of her mind."Gezzer said "But I think he plan is very convincing."
"Then please share it with us." Crusher replied hitting the 'cancel' button for the Romulans to decloack.

******Ten-Forward-thrity minutes later******
About fifhteen Runion crewmebers [including about four security officers] and almost half of the androids were converging. Lore ,who has 4 Million menus, was able to make sure the Reunion crew didn't get drunk and the androids did. The hardest part, however, was to get ALL the androids drunk.

*******On the bridge******
With all the senior officers in the Lounge a couple of Enigns were manning stations. In the Captain's chair was Bashier who felt like commanding instead of sickbay or the party[if he got drunk who wold be the doctor?]. Then on the screen a ship came out of warp. They were immeaditly hailed. A balding man appeared on the viewer.
"Reunion I am Jean-Luc Piacrd." After a short conversation the Enterprise crew were being over to have a few drinks.

*******Back in ten-forward********
The now drunken androids[and a few drunked crewmembers, including a certain Captain (but by mistake Lore said)] who was on his way to sickbay, along with Bashier, the androids were beamed off with about 30 kegs of the alcohol, which the Reunion crew hoped would make them go away.

******About ten minutes later-on the bridge********
Whoever was in the Captain Chair decided to hail the androids and see their condition.
"You nasty people!" Yelled the android captain but he was so drunk it came out like "ooh! Tee ell" which the rbidge crew didn't understand. So the button for the Romulans to decloack was hit and about 100 Romulan ships decloacked.
The Android Captain said something [which wasn't understndable] and then a fabric in space opened up and the ship left.

*******On the Enterprise*******
A drunken crew retuens to the ship, including half the Doctors on the ship. Crusher got a hail from the Enterprise from LaForge who was angry. When Crusher heard this he said only one thing
"AAAHHHRRRGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"