What Goes Up..... Must Come Down...

Things were back to normal. Correction, as normal as Kedanya will ever be. The Reunion, the Ab Be. and 2 of Sela's Son's Warbirds were cloaked and waiting near by, the others were out on patrol. People were having theri drinks and discussions in the Lounge, making announcements on the Bulliten Board, and having fun. Naturally, and stable, happy, productive system will not last.

It started with a blown EPS tap. A repair crew fixed it, and continued on their way. Then there was a larger problem. The docking clamps would not let go of the Ap Be. Another repair crew fixed that, but it took a couple of hours. Third, the Lounge lost power, and that took nearly a day to fix.

Unfortunately for Wes and LT, they were taking all the flak for all the problems on the station. In vain they protested. And then the Bulliten Board crashed, and revolution nearly swept through the station.

Dr. R'Mor was in Ops at this time. He watched as a status screen showed him what systems were down, and how long it would take to fix. And they were both getting longer. He ran a scan of the station to determine the cause of this abnormal happenings. He groaned. A TransCosmic Containment Beam* was being aimed at Kedanya. Then external communications went down. There was no way to call for help!

A very haggard looking Wes, followed by an angrier LT stormed into Ops. "What is happening?" he demanded. Dr. R'Mor explained.

Just then, the Gravity generators went on the blitz. Everything started floating up, and then everyone was hurdled against the walls. LT and Dr. R'mor were lucky, but Wes got shot through the open turboshaft. The gravity then reverted back to normal. And Wes fell down the turboshaft, to land on the lift, only 8 feet down. R'Mor and LT crawled over in time to hear Wes's favorite term...

AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHH!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"
A short silence...
"What happened?"
"Where is he?"
"He fell down!"
"Fell down?"
"Who?"
"The Captain!"
"Fell down where?"
"The turbolift..."
The bridge crew of Kedanya gathered in front of the turbolift door to see it for themselves.Well, everyone knew that this station still needed some things to be fixed, but the turbolift was always working up to now. Even with the new prolbems "Captain?" The counselor's voice was more amused than really worried, Captain Crusher had been in worse situaitons without hurting himself. "Are you all right?"
"Number One!" The loud voice from down there showed that he was. After all, the lift was stuck directly under the bridge. So Captain Crusher only fell about 3 meters. He really had been in worse situations..."Captain?" RoToRa appeared in the still open door, looking down. "Are you..."
"Yes, yes... I am alright." The Captain was already climbing up, almost as amused as his counselor.
"Didn't you tell me the lift was the one part of this ship that was working fine?"
"I said it seemed to work fine, Sir... that's a slight difference!" The former Borg looked at the Captain, certainly asking himself why "normal" humans were so impercise most of the time.
"Oh, well, fine..." Crusher stared down and shook his head. "See to it, number One. I do not plan to have the crew climb up and down all the time."
"Sir, with all due respect we have a lot more prolbems than this turbolift right now."
Unlike in our first adventure the crew was floating around Ops.
"Like...?" Prompted Crusher which is where R'Mor chimed in.
"We have A TransCosmic Containment Beam aimed at us."
"What's A TransCosmic whatever?" Lwaxana asked.
"I don't know, I just got it randomly out of the technobable Generator."
Crusher just looked at him.
"Ok, so what are you going to do about it?" Crusher aksed.
"I don't know, you're the captain."
And with that Crusher let out his second AAAHHHRRRGGG!™ of the story....

Somewhere, in a completely unimportant part of Kedanya, an unexpected guest forgot his towel. That in itself had been a completely unimportant fact, hadn't it been for the other unimportant fact that the unexpected guest was a hitchiker. This together in fact made the whole thing quite important (you know, like minus x minus...) and had an important impact on later happenings on the station. What made it worse was that the towel left behind was used, and it was in fact yellow with pink flowers.

The unexpected guest was not supposed to be here. It had all been an accident, caused by the malfunctioning Infinite Improbability Drive on his ship called Kedanya, what in his language meant "old piece of junk." His ship had exactly been that before it somewhat vanished under his ass and left him stranded on this Station.And he did not like being stranded at all. Well, he didn't even know where he was. He was just sure it was not where he had planned to go to. Because this was not the Great Erotic Library of Tonamon 5, especially not the section filled with photos of red sofas decorated with young woman. And he happened to collect pictures of red sofas.

In another section of Kedanya (the station, not the piece of junk), an officer working for the IMCAEEF Department (Inevitable Manual Cleaning After Everything Else Fails)was busy cleaning the red sofa of the lounge. It was not a fun job, but a good paid one (in fact, more than double of what the Governor got) and someone needed to do it after all. Today it was especially unpleasant, though. Spock had been preaching about logic for hours, and everyone who was forced to listen had fallen asleep right were they were... 3 of them on this sofa. 2 of them had dropped their glasses with Rigelian coffee and Jestral tea on it, and even with manual cleaning it was hard to get by. Well, there was the Microparticle Transporter in the biolab, of course... The officer put an "out of order" sign on the sofa and sneaked away to lend a certain equipment...

What do these all have in common?

Nothing of course. That is what makes Kedanya What it is. Now to try to make sense of it.

The hitchhiker strode over to a replicator. "Towel" he commanded. Out came a bar of soap. "Towel" he repeated. Out came a toothbrush. On instinct, and the fact that this problem was old news to him, he said "wonlewot" And out came a towel. Now he was ready to do what needed to be done to get his ship back. And solve this problem at the same time.

* * *
Cargo Bay

Lazarus Long woke up, and fell up to the roof. His mind cleared as he pushed himself down, and stood down. He looked around. "Not good", he mumbled, and walked along the roof to the neaest stack he could climb up to the floor.

* * *
Bridge

Wes crawled out of the turbo shaft, madder than ever. "FIX THIS STATION!" he roared. Everyone moved to obey, except for a certain few, who might know what was going on...

Wes had just ordered the station fixed. This was nothing new as the person wandering the cooridors of Kedanya Station knew quite well.
She was indeed one of the main reasons the station had to be fixed. And unfortunatly here Improbability Drive had also fluxuated, destroying her ship Kedanya (which mean Top of the line in her language). But the Improbability of her drive had still been 1,654,666 to 1 when it fluxuated. Shed all but deserved it. The Imporbability Drives sold on the black market, ever since the Heart of Gold proved it could be done, were decreasing in value. And thus something in tis vast vast universe had to offset this large factor of improbability. And, as it always seems to be, Kedanya would be the place this happened (the Station, not either of the ships)

"We are Locutus of Kedanya errr... Borg" said the image on the screen, putting the probability of this strange occurrence combining the time/space travel of a subspace message and the counterpart making such a SNAFU in his speech at exactly 1,654,666 to 1. "You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile."

The image faded, and in its place...

And the TransCosmetic Containment Beam was actually what had started it all. It was proven that there are seperate universes. One person from the remote neutral planet of Htrea believed he could jump these universes controlling where he went. He tried this using a TransCosmetic Containment Beam, and after he was gone was never heard from again.

* * * Back on kedanya( The Station) * * *

He now had his towel. es, it wasn't his towel, but every Hitchhiker in the Galaxy knows he needs a towel. But. what if you lose your towel? Can you just get a new one. The man first looked at the new towel he had just replicated and took of something resembeling a PADD, on it's fron cover were the words "Don't Panic." and he slowly opened it.
Searchig he found the entry on towels, and it in fact said that every one who loses their towel is doomed to death. This man now knew that, but he had to execte his plan anyway.

* * * A Few Thousand Kilometers From kedanya In An Alternate REality * * *

He aimed the beam, as he had for the past five years. He knew what he was causing, but if he wanted to help his former mentor he had to trust him. And he sensed that the Professor was near...

* * * One Kedanya, once again * * *

And the man knew hehad to get to the focal point of the TransCosmic Containment Beam, and there was only one way he knew how to do that. And as he headed for the Shuttlecraft Bay, he remembered the reason that he chose this universe, and the reason he would get home and prove them all wrong...

Somewhere on Kedanya (the station) Moogie was trying to bake a cake. It was accidently the birthday of one of the Chief Engineers (yeah, we have to many of those), and it was supposed to be a surprise. Moogie was good in surprises. For the last birthday on the station she knew about, she had made a strawberry cake (humans have a strange taste, don't they?), and it had been a great success, especially the blinking logo on it that said "No staw, just berries."

When she turned to add the cream for this one, she heard a strage sound in front of the door. Now, Ferengi are curious. Even when it is not about a chance to make more credits. So, moogie opened the door after short hesitation - and was hit right in the face by a peach pie. A strange Ferengi was in front of the door, grinning at her. "Surpriiiise," he shouted. Then he handed her a strange towel (yellow with pink flowers) and left without another word....

Cargo Bay

Laz Looked down at the floor. There were no ways he could reach the top of the stacks that lead to the floor, unless he jumped really low. Laz looked up at his feet.
Being on the roof was not in the best of conditions. He looked around. There! At the far end of the cargo bay (was there any other direction?), was a good solution.
The Cargo bay opend directly into the shuttle bay. He looked along the ceiling towards the huge double doors that connected him to the shuttle bay. In there, he could get right way up again, and not by falling to the floor. So he set out.

elsewhere

He had no towel, except the darn Ferengi was following him. He had to reach the shuttle bay, and stop this madness. of course, the probability of this happening was 1 to 1234567890, and so he was not worried. This was Kedanya after all. Everything ended up being right. After a huge mess.
 

***In The Cargo Bay***

Laz went to attempt his daring move. He would jump from his current position, to and through the Cargo Bay doors, into the shuttlebay.\

***At The Same Time***

The Ferengi was following him, but he was alreaqdy there. He opened the doors, and headed for the nearest shuttle.
He was rudly awakenedl, however, when Laz came thorugh another set of doors and his lfying feet knocked him out, after hitting him directly on the back of skull.
For now the man was aprehended, and his towel gently fell down to the floor. Moogie rushed it then, and shared a blank stare with Laz before making the call up to Ops.

**IN OPS**

There to replace the image of Locutus was empty space. It didn’t stay empty for long.
“Commodore!” Dr. Telek R’Mor shouted from the science post.
Wes turned. “Now what?”
“Commodore, I am reading an alien vessel decloaking off the port bow.”
The screen wavered, then the ship became visible. It was unlike any they’d seen before. It was a long, sleek, purple-gray vessel, with many many laser turrets on the hull.
A beep sounded on R’Mor’s control panel. “Sir, the Relmaz is hailing us.”
Wes whirled. “How do you know the name of the vessel?”
“Um, sir, the name is painted on the side.”
“Oh.” Now that R’Mor mentioned it, there was the name “Relmaz” painted on the hull in Federation Standard. “Put the captain onscreen.”
A face popped up on the screen, one which the Commodore had never seen before. The face had a bright yellow complexion, with a full head of brown hair. His eyes were a dark brown color, and his ears were rounded, like a human’s.
In the background, Wesley saw various other aliens like the captain, but there were at least some familiar aliens aboard. That one could be a Benzite; that one a Vulcan.
The alien spoke. “I am,” he said in a deep voice, “Captain Pizman of the Relmaz. To whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?”
Commodore Crusher did the best he could to compose himself. “I am Commodore Wesley Crusher of Kedanya Station and the USS Reunion. Why have you come here to Kedanya?”
“I did not come here by choice. I saw your station appear out of nowhere, but my navigator informed me that it was we who had moved. It was some sort of spatial anomaly that has a chance of...Solek, what was the number again? Thank you. It has a chance of 1,654,666 to 1 of causing another ship to cross to another universe.”
The number somehow jogged Wes’s memory. He’d recalled that number before, but what was it...?
“At any rate, we seem to be stuck here for the moment. After we arrived, we detected some unusual movements in otherwise uninhabited parts of the station.”
Wes grew suspicious. “What kind of movements?”
“Alas, we know not where, for we know nothing of your station. Perhaps a personal chat with you would help us get to the bottom of this?”
“Perhaps,” Wes said skeptically. “Will you come alone?”
“I give my word,” said the alien captain, “that no one shall accompany me, and that I shall carry no weapon.”

**ON THE ALIEN SHIP**

“Acknowledged. I’ll see you at the transporter room. These are the coordinates,” said the man Crusher.
Pizman replied, “We have them. Thank you for your hospitality. Pizman out.”
The screen flicked off, showing the starfield and the mysterious station.
“I don’t like this at all,” said Pizval, the ship’s navigator and Pizman’s brother.
“I have to agree,” said Gardek, the ship’s tactical advisor. “They must be planning some sort of trick.”
“They have given us no reason to be hostile. Also, the Commodore seemed somewhat suspicious of us as well,” said Solek, the ship’s Vulcan science officer.
“All the more reason to distrust them,” Gardek shot back.
“I’m inclined to agree with my science officer in this case, Gardek,” said Pizman. “And my command is as follows: if you take even one shot at that station, I personnaly will put you in the brig.”
Pizval said, “I believe that the captain may be right. These people may be our only way back. And they seem too distrustful of us to be so quick to treachery.”
“Well, now that all’s agreed, I must be going. You have the bridge, Pizval.”
Pizman stepped into the lift that would take him to the transporter room.
"GAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"
A short silence...
"What happened?"
"Where is he?"
"He fell down!"
"Fell down?"
"Who?"
"The Captain!"
"Fell down where?"
"The turbolift..."
The bridge crew of the alien ship Relmaz gathered in front of the turbolift door to see it for themselves. They knew that the lift wasn’t working well, but it was supposed to have been fixed. The engineer would probably pay for this.
"Captain?" The navigator's voice was more amused than really worried; Captain Pizman had been in worse situations without hurting himself. "Are you all right?"
"Solek!" The loud voice from down there showed that he was. After all, the lift was stuck directly under the bridge. So Captain Pizman only fell about 3 meters. He really had been in worse situations...
"Captain?" Solek appeared in the still open door, looking down. "Are you..."
"Yes, yes... I am alright." The Captain was already climbing up, almost as amused as his navigator. "Didn't you tell me the lift was fixed by now?"
"I said it should be fixed by now, Sir... that's a slight difference." The Vulcan looked at the Captain, certainly asking himself why other species were so imprecise most of the time.
"Oh, well, fine..." Pizman stared down and shook his head. "See to it, Solek. I do not plan to continue injuring myself until we know the thing’s in working order. Meanwhile, I’ll take the access tubes if I have to."

"A Hitchiker?!" Crusher was puzzeled. This "Pizman" had shwon him some book, Hitchikers Guide to the Universe or something along those lines, and this man matched the description of a standard user of the manual.
"Yes, probably trying to see the galaxy, and cheap, too. But there's this one thing..." Pizman didn't finish his sentence, the figure suddenly awakened. And in true Kedanya form (mostly because it makes the storyline interesting) they had never taken th intruder out of the Cargo Bay, or brought down a security detail.
The culrpit started towards the doors, rather alert for someone with a pair of Captains, er a Commodore and a Captain, standing over him. He also lost his towel. I'll make a note here the fact he loses his towel becomes rather important around Part 15 (so whoever writes Part 15...) and he bolted. The doors politly opened for him, and closes just as fast.
"Crusher to Security, Intruder Alert!" Crusher yelled, then hit his commbadge. "Crusher to Ops, Intruder Alert!"
"We know sir, Krajensky already called up here, something about making him lose his Pokémon Game or something."
"Well, what are you going to do about it?"
"Shall I send a security detail?"
"Yes." Crusher was losing his calm.
"To what deck?" Talk about your first year cadets.
"AAAHHHRRRGGG!!!" And suddenly Pizman dissappeared, and the station started shaking.
"Sir, we're being attacked."
"Open hailing frequencies, (I'll be to Ops immeadiatly."
It was not a good day.

Laz and Moogie wad watched as the intruder was taken into custody my the Govenor and some unusuall looking being by the name of 'Pizman'. They were thanked for their contribution towards the security of the station and were politely asked to leave. No argument. Who was going to argue with Govenor Crusher? So Moogie and Laz left. Moogie made her excuse about needing to be somewhere. Laz shrugged, thanked Moogie for helping him get right way up, and watched as she went around a corner.

Laz turned the other direction. Time to get something to eat. He unknowingly followed the exact path the intruder followed (probability 1 in ~200000). As he went around a corner, he saw this object lying on the floor. The curiosity in him told him to pick it up. It was a towel. Red, with a gold braid, about 4 feet by 8 feet in area. It also had the monogram of "A. D." in one corner. Laz was puzzled by it. What would a towel be doing here? Oh well, there is a lost and found in the Lounge. "A. D." will pick it up. But who on the station was A. D.?

Upon reaching the lounge, he found that all was in chaos. Well, not exactally. Thatt's typically the normal state of affairs, but for Kedanya, it was trouble. Somehow, the computer had shut of acess to all the alternate rooms from the station. And the noise caused by 4 different games being played at once was a little defening. Laz walked over the the lost and lound, and carefully placed the towel in the Lost and Found. Not much else in there today. Must be a good sign.

Laz then found and empty chair and closed his eyes.

**Somewhere on the station**

Thank goodness for my cloaking device, Pizman thought. The people on this station think I'm gone, including that hitchhiker. But that's not likely to last long.
Pizman was crawling through numerous access tubes. He had gotten lost a while back, but he had been able to get his bearings through a computer terminal. Hope the hitchhiker's not looking, Pizman had thought.
No such luck. Only five minutes later, in a long hallway outside the access tubes, he heard footsteps. Someone followed me!
He pressed himself against the wall, and prepared to use his phasing device if the hitchhiker discovered him...
And then he saw a couple of people in sweatsuits jog by.
I should have known, thought Pizman. With the hitchhiker's arrival, reality has already begun to warp. With that thought, Pizman marched the other way.
And then, as he turned a corner in the corridor, he saw a man standing there. Next to him was a large towel with the initials A. D. on it.
Pizman chuckled to himself, then suddenly stopped as the man in front of him looked around frantically, trying to place the sound.
The man settled down quickly, but then he opened a communications device. "Lazarus Long to Commodore Crusher."
Pizman panicked, realizing that if the man was allowed to talk to Commodore Crusher, the hitchhiker would know his position.
"Yes, Mr. Long?"
"I seem to be hearing some unexpl--"
That was as far as Laz got before he was hit with a phaser blast in the back. Hopefully, Pizman thought, our visitor will come back trying to figure out what is going on here. If I am correct, the man is probably more confused than any of us here.
Pizman then strode off away from Lazarus Long, hoping to get some distance before Security came. And I hope that Commodore Crusher will forgive me for this.

Dr. Telek R'Mor shivered. He didn't know where he was, but he felt a strange poking sensations at his back. He awoke. As soon as he turned around, his head slammed against a panel. A turbolift panel. In front of him was the good Dr. Bob and Puff the Magic Dragon. In a stirring remedy of the sight of his long lost friends lost he remarked with an awe struck gaze. Above him, instead of decks twirhling by, he saw broad space. The turbolift had no connection to the rest of space, but was free floating in space. Only a force field kept them seperate from a cold, lonely death. Puff reached forward and gestureted towards the Doctor. "We were re-assigned from Kedanya and then boarded different ships. We both last remeber doing some mundane job when we suddenly appeared here." R'Mor shivered again.

***

Governor Crusher looked around his Ops to find his crew staring at him. "I SAID OPEN HAILING FREQUENICES!" he barked. His crew had seemed dazzeled by the entity in front of him. Locutus of Kedanya store back at him. "We will add your ship to our collective. Resistance is futile." Crusher grabed a phaser, but was knocked flat on the ground by the counterpart. Before the first year cadets could run to his rescue, a green Borg transporter beam whisked them away. Suddenly, fire continued on the ship. First year cadet Young Alexander looked up. "Doc R'Mor, looks like your in command." However, suddenly, with a glance, they realized that Doc R'Mor wasn't there. The crew of Young Alexander, Darth Dread, Borath, and Jason were what was left of the bridge crew. The ship shook again as weapons fired pummled it.

Neral fell. More like he tumbled. He had been simply re-arranging his flowering plants when his head took a blundering smash against the floor. And when he looked up, there is what he feared the most. "Your back!" he exclamined, coming face to face with...

** DRUM ROLL PLEASE **

Sela's Consort. His face whivered around like a ghost and merely disappeared. Neral shivered in fear as the entitty came went in a blink of his eye. He wondered had his desire for choclate that evening perhaps induced this moment.

**TURBOLIFT IN SPACE**

Doc R'Mor kept shviering. Doc Bob handed him a lolly pop and as they slowly chatted, in mumered phrases, each one of them mentioned the word "hitchiker" and how one had appeared on their ship before they vanished. The darkness of space passed.

Going from sitting and leaning back to standing up was not a plesent feeling. Laz looked around. He slapped the towel across his shoulder and tried to figure out where he was.

TOWEL?

Laz wondered what the heck was going an around here. It was almost like space was beginning to fracture, and He had been thrown back in time about 5 minutes. What was the probablility of that happening? Oh, about 1 in 500000. On a good day.

Laz started to retrace his steps, almost desperate to maintin the time line when he heard a chuckle behind him.

He snapped around, trying to locate the sound. Trying. Trying. TO no avail. He settled his heart, and began to walk forward again. This is getting wierd, but then he opened a communications device. "Lazarus Long to Commodore Crusher."

"Yes, Mr. Long?", the Govenor answered.

"I seem to be hearing some unexpl--"

A phaser burst in the back stopped the conversation. Laz fell to the floor unconcious as Pizman took off in another direction.

It took five minutes for security to come to his aid. Laz was groaning and trying to coordinate his body to wipe the droll coming off his face. Laz and phasers did not mix well.

When he maneged to revive himself to the point of standing, things had changed even more. And he still had that mysterious towel.

Governor Crusher shivered. He was surprised the Borg had let the hail for Lazarous Long get through, but as he was led down the hall, he soon forgot about this. Locutus almost seemed to snicker, which the governor found unbelieavable. As he approached, he saw the Borg's "magnificant" creation: an assimilate Krajensky.

****

Manatee reached his destination point of the aquarium in time to see fish floathing around. He noticed, though, that these fish were different. They had been assimilated. As the BorgFish swam about, Manatee took this time to run. Quickly.

***

Lazarus Long stumbled out, only to be thrown against the floor. As he looked up, he saw a fhastly face of Sela's Consort waver back and forth. The image soon vanished.
 

****

Ops nearly fell apart under Jason's command. Darth Dread had no idea how to work tactical, as a mysterious ship, somewhere, kept firing at them. However, Jason soon made a startling discovery....

****

Pizman kept running.

****

The towel, all alone in the cargo bay, with Long fainted in the corridor, started to glow. Suddenly...

****

In the turbolift in the middle of no where, Doc R'Mor was pulling his fifth lolley pop.

And the madness continued....

**On the Borg Ship**

Governor Crusher yelled: "AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!"
The Krajensky Borg said: "Kedanya is irrelevant."
Commodore Crusher wound up and kicked the Krajensky Borg, and managed to hit it hard enough to get through the wall at an improbability level of 1,000,000 to 1 against.

**In the Habitat Ring**

At an improbability level of 1,500,000 to 1 against, Manatee ended up in Captain Maelwys's quarters, where a dazed Borg was just starting to get up. There was a huge hole in the wall.

**In a Corridor**

Lazarus Long looked at the towel again, and realized it had some connection to recent events, but didn't know what...

**In Ops**

Jason realized the ship attacking them wasn't really there. In fact it was a fabrication of another ship, projected by the station's holoprojectors.
"Shut that thing off!" yelled Jason, while the rest of the crew rushed to comply.
At an improbability level of 1,750,000 to 1 against, Young Alexander hit the wrong button and caused the ops module to detach from the rest of the station.

**In another corridor**

Pizman stopped running. He realized that he must find the hitchhiker, else the improbability levels would run rampant, reaching to infinite improbability at some point...

**In the first of the two corridors**

Suddenly a flustered man appeared in front of Laz, and the towel stopped glowing. "Excuse me, but is there anywhere I could find a cup of tea on this station?" the man said.

**Back at Ops**

Doc R'Mor suddenly found himself in Ops. "Wha..."
"Doctor R'Mor!" said Jason, relieved. "Young Alexander has detached Ops from the rest of the station! You must help us get back!"

** ON THE CUBE **

Krajensky stumbled back up, and reached forward and inserted his tubules into the Governor. The Governor laughed with impunity. "I'm immune to assimilation!" he remarked, remembering older events that had happened in the past. "Who ever said we are going to assimilate you?" Krajensky said mechanically. The Governor's last thoguhts before he plunged unconsciencly was the strange pain as his beard started to shed off from his face.

**IN MAELWYS'S CORRIDORS**

Manatee gasped in horror as the assimilated captain stood. "Oh no, sir, not you, too!" Suddenly, the assimilated Maewlys vanished in a flicker. The real Maelwys stepped from behind the cornor. "It's a hologram, and I think I suddenly understand something." Manatee whiped the sweat from his brow. "So the BorgFish that I saw in the Lounge weren't real." Maelwys cringed. "Oh no, not the fish..."

**SOMEWHERE ELSE**

Captian Barclay awoke from his sleep and walked outside to see Yoda's Evil Twine scampering outside. In front of him was Mirrior Yoda's Evil Twin, and numbers 1-408 of Yoda's Evil Twin, filling the corridor and adjacent hall ways. Captain Barclay clinched his teeth together, wondering what happened.

**OPS**

"But the turoblift I was in..." Doc R'Mor examined everything else and saw that Puff and Doc Bob had also re-appeared here, slowly greeting everyone. Jason was laughing uncontroablly at Bob's jokes and likcing a puller. Darth Dread soon spoke up. "Um, anyone who in charge, instead of scanning this Borg cube ahead of us, I, um, accidentally sent this Ops module ahead at it, full thrust speed." Doc R'Mor turned around in anxiety, and knew what the only thing to do was. "Puff, your in charge." The wisest man he knew, and his friend, was now in trust of all their lives. R'Mor took the first officer's seat as Puff took the command chair. "It is good to be back. Granted, not the best of circamsantnces, but, still..."

**SOMEWHERE**

"I've found you!" Pizman stopped his search in the botnaical garden, where the hithchiker stood. "My towel..." he remarked. Suddenly, Pizman's scenery changed. There he stood, in the darkness of a Borg Cube was the hitchiker, a fully assimilated Krajensky, an unconscience beardless Crusher, and Lazarus. With the towel.
And Tea. Moogie :) stood with them. She casually remarked, unknoingly how she got here with this group. "This is interesting." And she slowly stepped aisde, ripping off a drone's head as she started to examine the Cube. Krjaensky laughed. Pizman snarled. Lazarus Long nearly fainted. The Hitchiker had a look of completion on his face. And the towel drank.

Corridor

The hitchhiker faced Laz. Laz faced the hitchhiker. "Are you A.D.?"

"Yes I Am." Slight british accent. It was familar somehow.

"Here's your towel." Laz held up the towel to give to A.D. But the towel had other plans. It liked Laz. So it sent Laz spinning to the celing of the corridor, then rolling down the hall away from A.D. The towel didn't like A.D. An idea! "The tea is in the lounge!" And Lazarus dissapeared around the corner.

Lounge

Moogie sat down with a nice cup of earl grey tea. She savoured the aroma. It was perfect. Then the hitchhiker walked in, grabbed the cup of tea, poured it into a thermos, apologized, and left.

Botanical Gardens

The hitchhiker tracked the towel to here. On the first try. Imporobability of 1 in 2000000. The odds are getting worse. Soon it will reach one in infinity. Then who knows what will happen? The towel was wrapped around Laz He was trying to struggle against the towel, but his strenght was not up to the task.

The hitchhiker removed the thermos from his coat pocket. The towel unwrapped Laz who lay, trying to regain his bearings. The towel slammed towards the hitchhiker, knocking him over, grabbing the sealed thermos and dissapearing, taking Laz with it.

Pizman barged in. "The towel..." the hitchhiker tried to explain, but was cut short by events chronicled in part 19.

Borg Cube

Crusher was unconcious, Laz almost fainted from the blood rushing to his head and Moogie was ripping apart the cube like it was paper. Paper? The whole deck was made of a stiff paper. The towel drank the tea, and Pizman announced the probablility of the change of the floor to be around 1 in 5 million, considering all circumstances.

and the improbabilities kept getting higher every second...

Captain Barclay looked in awe at all of the Yoda's Evil Twins, Twine, and clones abounding in the hall. Suddenly, one of them stepped forward. "I am Yoda's Evil Twin/Tine of Borg. Your evil muppets will be assimilated." Suddenly it all dawned on Captain Barclay. Yoda's Evil Twin(e) of Borg continued. "We are the future. Your future's end." This one Yoda's Evil Twin(e) st arted assimilating all of the YETs there. Barclay slapped his combadge. He knew only one person who could stop this. "Alidar Jarok, we have, um, a situation on deck tweleve..."

In the middle of the Borg Cube, a single toothbrush was floating for no appearant reason. Moogie (copy 1) was looking at it thoughtfully, stopping to tear the paper ship apart.

In the middle of the Lounge, a single toothbrush was floating for no appearant reason. Moogie (copy 2) was looking at it thoughtfully, stopping to drink her tea...

In Ops, Doc R'Mor (copy we-lost-track-of-our-count) was still busy attempting to think of what to attempt to attempt getting Ops back into the station.

Meanwhile, on the Borg Cube, a midget drone (actually a child accidentally assimilated) looked at the face of the unconscious governor and decided it would be funny to paint a beard on that face. Being Borg, it set to work with a few nanoprobes and soon the hair implants were all in place.

And right at this point, at an improbability level of 1 in 983,114, the collective authors of this story decided it became really too confusing and returned to a more believable storyline.

-------------

Once upon a time, there was a corner of space. Not just any one corner, but the most enchanted and magical corner that ever existed. In this corner floated a majestic space station, filled with wondrous people able to change the structure of the universe with the blink of an eye. Getting up in the morning, the commanding officer of this station blinked and accidentally blinked wrongly and everybody became immortal. They lived happily ever after - or at least for the next 2000 years before the universe collapsed to a black hole under the we...

-------------

An anvil fell out of the sky, hit the author of the above on the head and he returned to his senses, consistent with an improbability level of 1 in 983,494. We return to our main story.

**ON THE BORG SHIP**

Suddenly, at an improbability level of 1,654,666 to one against, the Krajensky Borg suddenly became un-assimilated. And then, Laz, Pizman, Moogie, the hitchhiker, the towel, a now-bearded Wes, and Krajensky found themselves in a large pink cubicle with a large door. The door started to swing open. Pizman rushed to the door to close it, but it was ill-fitting. Tiny, furry hands reached through the door, trying to get it open.
Pizman realized what was happening. "There's an infinite number of monkeys outside who want to show us the script for Hamlet they've worked out," he explained.
A. D. gaped in surprise and recognition. The fact that this sort of thing would happen to him twice in his lifetime was at an improbability level of 2 to the power of 500,000 to one against (a very very big number).
Pizman, still holding the door shut as best he could, tried to figure out the significance of the recurring improbability number (1,654,666:1.0). Suddenly he had it.
Could it be...?

"We did!" R'Mor screamed as the thrusting Ops nearly avoided the Borg Ship. Puff, getting out of the command chair shrugged. The novice Ops crew cheered loudly. "Setting a course back for the Reunion, sir!" Jason hollered. R'Mor smiled. His smiled turned to disgust, though, as they came about to the ship. Suddenly, in front of the ship was...

"That number!" Pizman sqeueled. "According to my tricorder it is the number of monkeys in there, divided by two, multiplied by seven, subtracted by 272536, halved, rounded to the nearest hundreth, squared! That's also the same number of clones Yoda's Evil Twin(e) had before his cloning machine was destroyed!" The away team shrugged and went through the doors, ripping the monkeys to shred.

Captain Barclay became even more confused as all the clones of Yoda's Evil Twin in front of him evolved into monkeys.

And we all know what will happen next, or maybe we don't. As long as the twisted authors continue their works in the same fashion...

***
Captain Barclay got bonked in the head by a YET Monkey, disturbing his thoughts.
"Hey!" Not like screaming at the deevolving monkies would have much effect. But he heard something off in the distance, something that would serve only to confuse the readers even more. They were laying down fire, but not tradition phaser fire. It sounded like gunshots, from the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation, circa 2000. But these were no ordinary FBI Agents laying down fire on a space station 300 years after their deaths where cloned monkie were in the corridor. They spotted the human, or however you want to describe Barclay, and yelled
"Freeze, Mulder, Scully, FBI!" And the Improbability factors increased to 2 to the 2,500,000,000:1 against.

***
"It's the End Of The World As We Know It" was ironically the song playing on the radio as the world ended. Not Earth, of course, that was destroyed on a Thursday in the 1980's. Or was it still around? You never could tell with all the duplication of personas and storylines. I mean there are about 300 YET's er, monkies. But anyway, we'll just throw this opene ended storyline on the heap of the others to re resolved.

***
Alidar was rather busy. The WNOHGB HTML had yet to be finished, and he knew Spock would not take kindly to any tardyness. So when he heard Barclay's call he decided to ignore it. Not like it would've mattered because...

***
Barclay saw the monkies dissappear, and was left standing there with two bewildered FBI Agents.

***
Ops reconnected to the station. YET they didn't quite reconnect. Something was directly between the docking port and the docking clamp. R'Mor looked outside the window and saw something that took him by surprised.
"There are million of monkies out there. The ones on this side look like YET, and one of the side is holding a script for Hamlet. A.D. wondered how anyone was suppose to calculate those improbabilty odds, but then realized anything was possible, and at that moment a depressed robot with the bran the size of a planet appeared on Ops.
"Who are you?" Puff asked, and then the robot recited one of his more depressing account with another Dragon, not that Puff cared, and AD came up with a plan.

***
And Moogie:_) came up with a plan.

***
And Scully was still pretty confused...

TBC (Odds of this story being continued, 2 to the power of 555,555,555,555.55 to 1, for)

Puff floated down to the lower decks and bretahed out fire, YET Monkeys scattering.

Moogie began to explain her plan while the towel drank its tea.
 

Puff continnued to roast clones, while in the background a song by Peter, Paul and Mary was played.

*****

"The plan is simple. We force the improbablilites to increase untill it reaches 1 in infinite. Then the trans cosmic containment beam will shut down and everything will get back to normal. Any questions?"

Everyone looked at Moogie. The probablility of her plan being right was 1 in 7.63*10^45. In other words it was correct. "How do we force the improbabilites?" Laz asked as, for a split secon, everyone had their gender switched, then returned to normal.

"We do improbable things." Moogie replied. She grinned, showing pure latinum teeth. "Like this. 1 in 1.05*10^46."

Everyone was ready now. "Let's begin..."

*****

The towel drank on...
 

As everyone's hair started changing colors (at a probability fo 1 to 129328432490230947302974), Moogie bent down and smiled. Her teehth were now choclate. A probabiltiy of 1 in 349030493049234304303 (sqaured).

***

Doc R'Mor left Ops, his attitued changing from disgruntled Klingon to pacificsting Vulcan (you figure out the odds). The ship was twisting like a knife in butter below him. He kept scampering down with Spock and Neral (both came out of no where) and Patty (who just appeared) climbing along side him.

Patty reached to open the turbolift door (where they suddenly appeared) and it suddenly happened:

the door actually oepened.

At a chance of inifity -1, something went as planned.

Infinite probablilites, infinite impossibilites. AS the numbers got higher, so did the extremes. At infinity -1 the doors opened, Ops was sucsessfully reattached to the Station, the Borg dissapeared, the clones dissapeared. All the systems were functioning as normal. Everyone that was on the cube was on the bridge. No one else.

A. D. announced the second last improbability. Then everyone held there breath as the final improbablilty occured.

All stepped away from the center of the room as if by general consent.

The towel, finshed with it's tea, stood in the middle of the bridge.

Wes took a step back, and into the turbo shaft. The doors closed.

"AARRGGHHH!"

"The Govenor!"

"What happened?"

"He fell down!"

"No he didn't!"

"What?"

That all crowded around the closed door. It opened to reveal a puzzled Wes.

"That's...."

"It has an inprobablilty of one in infinity Govenor Crusher." the towel spoke.

All looked at the towel.

"It spoke.." "No it didn't." "It did!"

"Of course I spoke you kedanyazins. I knew this would happen, and I had to see for my self. You will find everything as it was before. And I apologize for the inconvenience." The towel and A.D. dissapeared in a cloud of smoke.

Wes stepped out of the turbolift shaken. The normal crew started to filter back in. Everything was as the towel promised.

Wes looked around one last time. All was right with the world. Time to get some sleep.

"AARRGGHHH!"

"The Govenor!"

"What happened?"

"He fell down!"

"Again?"

"Yes!"

Everyone crowded around the turbo shaft. The govenor was splayed about 2 meters down there.

"Are you hurt?"

"No."

"Want some help?"

"No."

"You gonna come back up?"

"Not for a while."

"Why?"

"I'm going to get used to being like this. My one turbo lift has happened, and I will spend the rest of my life falling down turbo shafts."

"Oh."

*****

Some where, some when, some possibility, a towel laughed....
 

THE END